The Meantime

Atlanta is having one of those “fake spring” weeks. Warm sunshine one day, cold temperatures the next. It feels like the weather is faking us out.

That idea ended up becoming the perfect metaphor for this season of life.

In this episode, I’m reflecting on what it means to sit in the meantime. That period where things are moving, but maybe not as quickly or as smoothly as you hoped.

Over the past few months, I’ve had a lot of honest conversations with fellow entrepreneurs, many of them Black women, and we’ve all been saying the same thing. The year isn’t quite popping the way we expected.

That realization pushed me to look inward and ask some hard questions.

Was I really doing everything I could be doing?
Was fear holding me back from taking bigger, bolder steps?
What would it look like to trust my track record and move forward anyway?

In this episode, I talk about:

• The fear that shows up when we try to build something new
 • Why remembering your “receipts” matters
 • How Black women are often taught to shrink instead of celebrate ourselves
 • What it looks like to use slow seasons intentionally
 • Finding joy, rest, and growth in the meantime

Because the truth is, life rarely lines up perfectly. There is almost always something unfinished, uncertain, or still unfolding.

So the question becomes: what do we do with the time in between?

Pop Culture Corner

This week I’m talking about the HBO series Industry and while I loved the show, I hated each one of the characters. It has all of the makings of your fave new show: the ambition, the cutthroat culture, and the characters you love to hate.

Let’s just say… I couldn’t root for any of them.

Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding

Transcript

 Hey y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Black Girls Bonding. It is your host, Kiati. And y'all, before I even get into like how I normally start the show, about how I'm feeling, I owe you an apology. I have been away for I believe a month, and that was completely by accident. I life and life in, and not even in a bad way, it's just that things have been, um, a little bit busy.

So I got out of my routine somehow. And, uh, y'all, I talk about this all the time. I'm a Virgo. I live on routine, I thrive on routine, and somehow it just, things have just gotten a little bit away from me, so. Yeah, I've been off, but, uh, I am gonna do better. I honestly think, I mean, at this point, I blame everything either on Trump or perimenopause because both are toxic.

Um, but I think in this case it truly is perimenopause, like something in my brain is changing to where like certain things that used to come really naturally for me. I'm, I'm struggling with a little bit. And so this is one of 'em, like routine discipline. It's just, I'm just all over the place. So I say all that to say I apologize, but I'm so, so happy to be back.

Um, and yeah, ready to kick shit off. So how is my week going? You know, I like to kick off with that. It is, it's going really well. I have to say. The weather is starting to break here in Atlanta. I'm no fool. I've been here going on nine years, so I know this is temporary. I took a little peek in next week and it's not looking good, but right now, right now, right now.

Well, not at the present moment, but it has been in the seventies and eighties, no humidity, sun, just shining bright, like just gorgeous. And you can tell too, because the traffic has gotten worse and I think that's because people are, you know, tired of being in the house. The weather broke and they're like.

Let me be outside, please. And so that's happening. Um, so I'm gonna enjoy this for as long as it I can. Um, again, I know this is like, I think what we call a fake spring. I know that. Um, and it's been faking his ass off and I'm here for it. And, you know, soon enough it'll be hot and I'll be complaining about the heat.

So right now I'm just gonna enjoy what it is. I will deal with the couple of, uh, you know. Hard cold days and get back to the, the good shit, the good weather. So I'm gonna appreciate what I have in front of me and deal with what's coming when it comes. How about that? So, um, yeah, I think that might be a little bit of an accidental segue into today's topic.

So today I wanna talk to y'all about being okay with where we are right now. Um, and this whole concept has been really, really heavy on my heart lately. I. Uh, the way that I'm sort of relating it is to my business or to anybody out here who might be entrepreneurs, but I think it can show up in many areas of our lives, right?

I know that over the last several months, I've made quite a few friends that are entrepreneurs and. And coincidentally and not so coincidentally, right? Most of them are black women. 'cause that's who I fuck with. Um, and we've all been sort of saying the same year of the same thing rather, which is that this year ain't quite popping the way we had hoped.

Um, things, you know, aren't completely stalled, but just like a little bit slower than we'd hoped. You know? I know for me, um, it's definitely a little bit slower than I'd. Then I had hoped, and I had had a couple of false starts similar to the spring here in Atlanta. That left me just a little bit disappointed.

You know, I will own that. I, in some way was counting my chickens before they hatched, and it just wasn't that, though I can say, right? Like being on the other side of it, I did make some really good connections. I think, you know, those people can totally be people that. I work within the future, but you know, I was kind of hoping for that revenue now.

Right. So, you know, as I was kind of just reflecting on this quarter and you know, things just not quite moving the way I wanted them to, I, you know, took the time to reflect and I noticed a couple of things. The first noticing I had, and honestly this is a little bit hard to admit, was that I wasn't really doing all that I could be doing.

There were different levers I could be pulling, new strategies that I could be exploring, bolder steps that I could be taking, but I wasn't doing any of those things. And it was for a couple of reasons. Number one, you know, up to that point, business had been coming to me pretty organically, right? So I was feeling myself, right?

Like my, my, my shit was popping. It was, it was doing what it was doing. And so I didn't really feel. Compelled to do anything differently. So that was the first, you know, sort of realization. And then the other realization was that I was a little bit scared, right? Like I've never kind of had to put myself out there in this way, right?

Like, this business is me. It's just me. It's, it's, it's just like putting myself out there, like kind of naked in a way. And I was afraid that if I put myself out there and people didn't. Like my offerings or if they didn't like me or you know, like what would that say about my business? What would they say about me?

What if folks thought didn't think I was smart enough or creative enough and you know, all this good stuff? Like all that stuff that was. Was going through my head, right? And then I kind of had to stay, take a step back and realize that in order to build my business, I have to be bold, which means being vulnerable and it means being uncomfortable.

And I know I talked a lot about uncomfortable on the last podcast, but it's true. Like, you know, is I was preaching about it before, but it's fucking true. Like it, it just requires a level of discomfort and who wants to put themselves in an uncomfortable position, right? And so it just, I don't know. I just haven't wanted to do it.

Right. And I think I started to kinda, you know, kind of talk to myself and figure out like, okay, Kete, what's it gonna take for you to be bold? Right? What's it gonna take for you to really put yourself out there? And I think one of the things that I came up with was the fact that I was gonna have to sort of pump myself up.

Right, like be my biggest hype man. I think sometimes we look for other people to do that for us, but frankly y'all, the world is falling apart. People just don't have the capacity. And I know if I called any of my homegirls, you know, any of my ride or dies, they would've done it in a heartbeat. But like sometimes it's just the internal work that you have to do and you gotta pump yourself up.

You gotta be your biggest cheerleader. And I knew that that's what. This was time to do so I just started looking back at my track record, right? Like I'm all afraid that people aren't gonna think I'm smart enough, great enough, you know, that my business isn't good enough, all that good shit. So I had to look at reality and I had to reflect on my career and really like give myself props for all the things that I've accomplished, right?

Like I am not some, you know. Shrinking Violet. I am not somebody who has been a slacker. I've worked my ass off and I have made really good strides in my career and that. It's not easy to do, particularly as a black woman. So I had to look at that and I had to talk my big shit a little bit, you know, and just really sort of write down all the things that I've done.

And I know as black women, that's just simply not something we're used to doing. We are told to be humble, both in Word and de. Every time you see a black woman expressing some confidence, the world seeks to humble us and try to put us in our place. So rarely do we have the chance to celebrate our wins.

We just be trying to make it, you know? And so. I had to take the time to do that. And I gotta say, you guys, that was kind of a cathartic process. It feels good to talk your shit. It feels good to look at all of the things that you have accomplished no matter how big or small they are, and just really celebrate that.

And I honestly, I think that's required of all of us right now. I've talked about it before y'all, about how 2025 was the hardest year on black women, right? Something like 300,000. I'm sure that number is. Even bigger now. I haven't looked lately, we're laid off from the workforce. Right. So what, what can that sort of do for you?

Like what narrative is that, you know, kind of seeking to establish in your mind? It's not a good one. So it's on us to again, be our own biggest cheerleaders, pump ourselves up and remind us of who we are. And so that is what I did. And so while I'm still a little bit uncomfortable, really pushing myself to be bolder to.

You know, sort of put myself out there. In a way, I feel much better about it because now I carry my receipts with me. I know who I am, I know what I've done. I know I am good. I know I am, and I'm certainly better than most of these mediocre, mediocre Lord, mediocre white men out here who have no problem, no problem telling you the best thing that ever lived.

So I channel that. And that is what I'm starting to do. Just put it out there most more. Okay. This a example specifically relates to my business, but I think it's true in other facets of our lives. I have lots of single friends who are looking to start dating again. They took a break. And for those of us who have dated in our adult years, particularly in our thirties and forties, you know, a break is required.

I know friends that have moved to new cities or you know, have just outgrown the friends that they've had and are looking to make new friends. I know plenty of people who are looking to start new hobbies. They just, you know, maybe their kids are now a. Out of the house or a little bit older, and they're trying to get back to who they are.

And so they wanna try to identify this by starting a new hobby. There are just so many things, um, that we can so very easily talk ourselves out of or look down upon ourselves, you know, for whatever reason. And it just requires that we encourage ourselves and ask ourselves what we could be doing more of.

What other lever levers could we be pulling in order to get closer to that outcome that we wanted? Right. So that was my first noticing, is just really thinking about what else could we be doing right? To get closer to our goal, right? How could we be bolder? How can we be. You know, more uncomfortable, frankly.

What, what are the things that we can be doing to push us? And the other thing I sort of noticed, and this is a little bit of, um, the concept of two things can be true at once. 'cause these seem like two opposing things, but they work together. Come, come with me on this ride. So while we're in the meantime, that's what I'm gonna call it.

While we're waiting for things to get better, more prosperous, easier, whatever it is that we're looking to do, what could we be enjoying that this space gives us, right? Like this moment in time gives us what could be what? What? I can't even talk, what could we be enjoying right now? And I know for me, going back to the business example, my client roster is not full.

I got this time. Right. Thankfully, you know, I have enough clients that I can still pay my bills. Um, I can still, you know, sort of live my life. So I found myself kind of trying to flip the script a little bit lately on like, okay, my client roster is not full, which means I have a little bit more free time than normal.

So what can I be doing with this? With this time, and I came up with quite a few things, y'all. I signed up for a digital marketing class to brush up on my skills. I've been really intentional about community making, space for community. So with this new free time, I have more time to meet friends out for lunch and coffee during the week.

Um, I've been going on midday walks. Not even for exercise, just to get some vitamin D and be outside and experience some fresh air and just step away from my desk in a way that I'm not always able to and shit. Sometimes I take a damn nap. Just things that make me feel like I'm being productive on some level, but more importantly that I'm being really deliberate with this additional time that I have, and I'm enjoying this freedom and liberation because I say it all the time, y'all.

I am looking to build this soft and lucrative life. Heavy on the soft. Well, heavy on the lucrative too, but you know, heavy on the soft in the sense that. I am building a life that allows for much more freedom and liberation. And so how can I be taken advantage of that, especially since I'm experiencing more of that than normal.

And so that's what I've been doing. And again, I shared an example that related to work, but again, it can be applied to the other areas I mentioned. So if dating is slow right now, if you're not really meeting dudes that you're enjoying or you know, like it's just not, it's not, eh, it is not giving right now.

Maybe there are some ways that you can date and spoil yourself a little bit. Like sort of set the standard in that way. Could you bring fresh flowers into your house just to, you know, brighten up your house a little bit? Could you, you know, I don't know. Um, make a picnic for yourself and I. Take a book and just ex ex be outside a little bit while you're looking or waiting to, to make some new friends.

How can you maybe explore your neighborhood or surrounding areas so that maybe you have those places to share with these new friends that you meet. You know what I'm saying? So like there are just a number of things that we could be doing in this meantime, so that we don't feel like we're just like stuck.

I think I know for me. When I'm feeling like, Ugh, shit is fucked up. It's not moving the way that we're supposed it's supposed to or the way I thought it would. You can feel really stagnant. And I think the anecdote to that, this is my personal opinion, is movement. And the movement doesn't have to be physical.

It doesn't have to. It helps, trust me, exercise helps a lot, but it doesn't have to be physical. It could just be you doing things that are moving you closer to the direction that you wanna be. And so those are some of the things that I've named. Right. I just don't think this time for us has to be idle.

We can be reflecting more, celebrating ourselves more, and just making the most of where we are now because the fact of the matter is there's always gonna be some shit. Life is just never gonna be perfect. It's taken me 47 years to. Realize that the likelihood of everything being perfectly aligned at once is slim to none.

You know, that's, that's what I want. That's what we all want, but it's just not the way shit goes. There's always gonna be something. That's just not quite right. It just is what it is, and I think that all we can do is just rock with it and make the very most of where we are in that moment, appreciate where we can right the moment for what it is.

And it doesn't mean that we're not moving closer to our goal. I talked about that at the top of it, right? Like what are the things that we can be doing to push us, but it also means that we could be enjoying. The space that we are, there are some advantages to being where we are, and so how can we tap into that a little bit more?

Does that resonate at all? I'm curious what y'all are doing in your meantime. Uh, you know, let me know. I haven't said it in a while, but hit me on email at Black Girls bonding@gmail.com or you can send me a DM. At Black Girls Bounding on Instagram. I wanna hear from y'all. Okay, now you know I can't finish an episode with talking about something pop culture.

So while I was on my, um, self-imposed sabbatical, accidental sabbatical, I watched industry on HBO. Oh my God. Do y'all watch that? I don't hear too many people talking about it. I actually happen to be on threads. Pause. Have I told you guys about my infatuation with threads? It is my new favorite social media platform.

Everyone over there has good sense. Like people are super kind. They like celebrate each other's wins. The only people that I've seen get built bullied are like mean people or MAGA people, and they're usually one and the same. Don't argue with me. Um. That's the only time everything over there is so uplifting.

It's just random conversations. Funny ass stories y'all. I'm really enjoying myself over there, really enjoying myself to the point that I'm like hardly ever, even on Instagram anymore, I just go to threads and like scroll, which like right, I probably shouldn't be spending, you know, so much time on social media period.

But if you're gonna do it, that's the one to do it. Okay, so I digress on threads. Somebody, there was like a whole thread on industry enough to like kind of spark my curiosity. So I went on and checked it out. Y'all what a ride it is a show about an investment bank in London and you know the multitude of people that work there.

All the different personalities. And I gotta say, I haven't watched a show where I literally hate every single character since succession. I hated all these hoes. All of these hoes, even the black girl Harper, who I desperately tried to like, because black girl, right? It Oh, it, I, I want y'all to watch it, so I'm not gonna like give you any spoilers.

But what I will say it contains is just like the doggedness of business, the cutthroat approach that you think of when you think of investment banks. It's just awful. And. Like each of the characters, like I said, they're just so incredibly insufferable 'cause they're so focused on making money that they easily cast people aside.

Like, don't give a fuck about emotion, compassion. Like that's all out of the window 'cause we trying to get these dollars. Ugh. So again, you know, a show is good when you hate all the characters and you still love the show. In fact, I watched the last two seasons with my niece and we both said that we loved it so much.

Um, but. That we obviously are not made to be investment bankers, at least in this particular firm in London, because we're not built that way. I just simply, me personally, I just simply don't want wealth that bad, and I want it, I wanna be wealthy, but I don't want it that bad. I just think I care too much about people and I have a heart and I'm compassionate, so I couldn't do half the things they did that said check it out.

Very good. Worth the time, uh, worth the investment. And, you know, in true fashion with shows these days, right, like, it's like eight or nine episodes a season, and there are four seasons out now, and I read recently that there's gonna be one more season and that's it. So the fifth season will be the final season.

So you have a chance, you have a chance to watch it before the final season comes out. And I just can't recommend it enough. It's so, so good. Anyway, that's all I got for y'all today. Um, again, so, so happy to be back. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for listening, and I will be back in a couple of weeks.

I'll talk to y'all soon. Bye.